Appearing as: Hairdresser, Princess Tamara, French Maid & Girl In Distress

Hairdresser:
This is a New York working class girl whose sole purpose in life is to separate rich, spoiled women from their money. In the society of that time, the class distinctions were sharp and a woman like a hairdresser would never ascend to aristocracy. So, they had their fun at the expense of the rich women by gossiping, fawning and generally blowing sunshine up their petticoats. She is sassy and yet sad that her lot in life will never allow her the luxury she sees every day when she comes to work.

Princess Tamara:
She is a real Russian Princess according to her version of the story, although the truth is somewhat more mysterious. A model in an exclusive boutique in New York, the Princess is very popular with the roving eyes of the society gentlemen where she circulates. Women hate the Princess for her tall, sophisticated beauty and the men love to fantasize and flirt with her...she gives back all the flirting she gets with a thick Russian accent that drives the men crazy.

French Maid:
A formally trained chambermaid, she tolerates serving her mistress, while her true loyalties are with the monsieur and the mademoiselle of the house. She also tolerates the catty friends of her mistress with a disapproving eye.

Girl In Distress:
Have you ever had a breast fall out into your soup in a crowded casino? No? Well, she has, and hence the name "Girl In Distress". The young girl makes a mad dash to the powder room to reset herself and temporarily repair her dress. In the process, vain to a fault, she laments the fact that her right breast fell out and not the more attractive left one.

Appearing as: Florence Unger

If it can be imagined, Florence is even more neurotic than her male counterpart, Felix, in the original version of The Odd Couple. Maybe it's the presence of hormones, but Florence is an absolute bundle of neuroses, quirks, weird habits and annoyances.

The solid underpinning to Florence is that she remains lovable, although somewhat pathetic. She means well, trying vainly to make everything perfect around her, and her efforts are comically boundless and silly. Elegant and sophisticated, compulsive and neurotic, Florence both repels and attracts her friends.

Appearing as: Ursula

It is a rare opportunity to actually play a vamp. The real thing, not a gussied up, you know, Hollywood version. Ursula is technically a female impersonator although the producers and casting agent had a hard time getting their arms around the, um, exact build of the role. So they cast me. What does that tell you? She must be good, like Julie Andrews in Victor/Victoria!

So, was I to be a female pretending to be a male who was a female? Or simply a male who loves female clothes and looks good in them, but who still wants to be a male? Or, your garden variety... well, you get the idea. My job was to play Ursula over the top and leave just that hint of wonder... is she, or he, him or her?

Ursula was a brief, but juicy role, for which I won rave reviews among the half a dozen people or so who actually saw the film. No, just kidding, the film did okay I'm told and it's on SHOWTIME. You can rent the film at Blockbuster or any major video chain on video and DVD. I make my entrance about ten minutes into the film. But take Ursula's advice: I'm the best looking thing in the film, and it gets pretty gory after I make my exit.

Appearing as: Sonia

Sonia was my first shining moment on film in The Big Apple. I was cast to play an attractive but seasoned reporter. As the film is a virtual gore-a-thon, excepting the bit of elegance I add to the event, I'm not hard to miss... I'm the only person actually reporting about another grisly murder in Manhattan, and not actually being murdered in Manhattan with an assortment of dull kitchen instruments.

My scenes filmed in midtown Manhattan, outside on an utterly sweltering day and the air conditioning in my trailer was broken. The fruit was warm, the water tepid and Herve the imported hairdresser fainted moments before my scene forcing me to pull my hair back off my face with a piece of string and a Bic pen, just like MacGyver. I made it through my scenes and retired to the luxury of an air conditioned deli, virtually unnoticed by the paparazzi in my heat exhausted, makeup smeared, frizzy haired state.

Well, you have to start somewhere, and I did have my clothes on with my dignity intact. And, I was paid as a professional actress for the first time.